"Tempted"

So.... I accidently got the Master and Mistress's car towed, we all(Mistress was at work) had to take the bus to the Path and walk about 10 blocks to the tow place, was a bit of a hassle to get the car back, a shitload more restrictions up here than down south that is for sure, I ended up paying for it since they did not have the moola right now, still they were frustrated but not mad, it's not like you can change it after the fact so it would not make sense to be mad at me if I know my mistake.Though honestly it was bullshit, I parked in-front of a secondary entrance that is never used and constantly chained up with a heavy duty padlock, believe me I pass it every day of the week, it's always the huge main entrance that is open, so just like most parking policies in Jersey City, they just really want your money. Still, i'll be ultra careful in the future.

I have been thinking for awhile now on if I should move back down south, I am not feeling the city. I am someone who prefers less people, I always feel happier going into the city on a Monday  where the presence of other human beings is minimal, which is odd for someone living so near THE city. Quite frankly I am someone who prefers a place between a city and country, I love to have a yard where I can grow things and woods to run in, there has never been, not even on time, that I have not felt a bit closed inhere, I love a wide space. People think I should get out more to clubs, nightlife and all that jazz, but it gets unsafe here in the middle of the night, which leaves out going to a club unless the Master happens to come with me. Positively, NJ is like the number one state for transition, easier to get all your documents changed, protected against discrimination under state law, free hormones within the NYC-metro area, and medicaid is available to me here unlike NC where the health of the poor is not really cared about.

While typing this I remembered something the Master said about the south being nothing but hicks and I had to lay it out that, outside the big cities, the north is just as full of hicks, if not more so. Down south in NC for instance acceptance completely depends on the county you're in, one county could be totally cool but the next county over will actually tell you to leave in a very menacing way, I was told by a another transsexual that her home country, Germany, is the same way. I am getting tired of people saying southern=hick, so unless you're moving to one of the big northern cities then I am sorry, you are going to run into just as many hicks in the north.

I should mention briefly that I am involved in a certain relationship described as "closed poly, built on an M/s structure" I think you might be able to figure it out from there. basically, even though I took that path I might have not of truly thought through it in the way that I could not see all the steps at the start, so now I do not think it is working out for me and I am looking for another path, either a completely different one or a modified one.

Collide is a a great darkwave/trip hop/synth pop/Goth band hailing from LA. Many of their compositions are fantastic and with one of the greatest voices i've heard they have a one-of-a-kindness thing about them. Another great song by them is their cover of "Comfortably Numb" which is arguably the greatest cover of that piece out there.